trouble with me

"i dont look at you enought to notice"
........
and so she stays, on sunset strip
a heart so full i drown in it
shes waiting for my words to break
the one true love i couldnt make

sad excuse for life

lkjndl;jkg;dlkdfjhhfglkhfd
i fucking love jeopardy :'( now its over im shattereeeeeeeed

jeopardy

At the beginning of this year I watched Jeopardy religiously, taping every episode. When I was little, about 10 - back when I lived in England I used to watch it then too. It's just one of those shows I keep coming back to.
Even though it's a kids show, it's so so so lovely. I love Harry and Lucy, and the relationship they have. Every time they say something cute to each other, or hug, or Lucy smiles in that way at him I get butterflies. I love it how Lucy is so pretty and Harry isn't, the fact that she loves him for his personality.
Towards the end of the season 3, the two of them finally kiss and I found my self so pleased and content. It's like when you watch a movie, or a tv show and when something cute happens you are all sort of 'awhhhh'ed out' and feel all happy. I just love Harry and Lucy :3
I used to really like Simon and Chrissy, but watching it this time round I don't find them that cute at all. They argue all the time, and even though Simon is a lot better looking than Harry he's really arrogant and it just makes him unattractive.
I just wish I could find someone, like I know Jeopardy is a show about UFO's, and a whole lot of other bullshit. Don't get me wrong, I love that part of Jeopardy - the plot and whatever. But the real reason I keep going back to it, is the relationships the couples have. Even Leon and Shona can be cute sometimes, even if they are super annoying.

I wish I could find someone who didn't care if I was bad looking or whatever, and just liked me for my personality. And I guess I wish I could do the same, like look past the physical exterior.
mmmm, i love Jeopardy - it is the best show ever.

year ten is finito

i feel lusssssh!
year 10 is over and i feel a million times better. i am unsure if this is because of my optimism or my medication, whatever ever it is - its working. i cant wait for the holidays, the world is my oyster!
going to birdmans party tonight, which should be alright. so far i have no drinks and no money, but i usually find a way to get completey fucked. tomorrow i have lights fest, which i reckon will be shit. but it's a 'show your face' kind of event. so i guess it will be nice to see everyone.

;)

exams are overr waheeeey ;)
im all smiley like

guilt

i always find a way to mess things up,
for the first time in months i felt happy, i was in a good mood and everything seemed to be looking up. i should of know that i would ruin it for my self, but as usual i was oblivious.
i spoilt everything.. not only for me but for the people i care most about
i am so so sorry

meds

this week has been very weird,
my heads been up and down, backwards and forwards
im seeing stars and everything looks like its floating