hrm

i wish i was beautiful, charismatic and pulled all the boys

future

hihi,
im pumped like crazy for the upcoming weeks, it's all going to be so good. next week is formal - of course im not excited for the actual 'formal.' it's rlly crap and boring - 3 hours of non-alcoholic fun. the best part about formal is the after parties! ahhh! & seeing as my favorite hobbie is partying, i am beside my self with excitement.
it just makes it better that afterwards, i've organised a hotel with some of my bestfriends. i can't wait to bathe in the spa and smoke pj golds on the veranda.
also i loveeeee dressing up, i have a lovely black dress and i can't wait to have my hair and make up done! ! it's all going to be so good.

the weekend after, it's my brothers birthday. not that it will be overly exciting, but i'll go out for dinner. and i presume i'll go out that weekend either way.

the weekend after thaaaaaaat is cup weekend!!!!!!!!!! bridget's 16th halloween party, which is going to be completely sweet. so far i haven't decided what to wear, to be honest i havent thought to much about it. as well as it being bridgets birthday party and a long weekend - it is my birthday (Y) which will be super gooood

the weekend after thatttt is my birthday party ! :D moarrrr partying,
so yesyes ! next few weeks are going to be hectic mad
yaaaaaaaaaaay

i love who i am

my best friend is alcohol, i look to it for support, closure and comfort
i like getting fucked up, it makes everything better

oppression

Today kicking back after a hard days hangover I thought to my self how people oppress me. I hate controlling people, I hate people who make me intentionally upset and I hate people who stop me having a great time.
It seems only now I can say that I have made a conscious start to getting rid of my oppressions. When people see that they no longer control you it actually hurts them a little. I don't mean that they'd be upset or angry, but losing authority often effects peoples self esteem.
I know that 'putting people in their place' isn't particularly nice, but people who control others deserve it to an extent.

I'm just sick of people walking over me like I'm a carpet. I except that I am 'naive', quite often I believe the bullshit people come out with. I am unlucky as I find my self trusting the wrong people all the time.
But in fact, what is trust? Because as time goes on I believe in it less and less. It seems that trust is a concept someone invented to help people feel reassured. But in reality trust does not exist - Well not in my world.
I know all of this is pretty depressing or whatever, but it's all true. The only person in the world that can help you is your self. People will always oppress you, people will always lead you on, people will always let you down.

vomit

port led to me being very ill last night -.-

mistakes

I thought for once i had my head on straight, but yet again i seem to have made the same mistake i always do.

Majority of people learn from their mistakes. they grown, learn and thrive from the experience. But i have a habit of repeating situations. It doesn't matter how much i know it will spoil things I just continue my actions.
I wish I was smarter,

fml

from the words of mayday parade, "i can live with out you, but with out you i'll be miserable at best"

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